THE SECOND BLESSING CAME IN THE WEE HOURS

The driving was not the only aspect of this venture that was physically demanding.  My sister had severe physical disabilities from early childhood that multiplied and worsened into adulthood. Although her mind was sharp, she was unable to perform any physical functions. There was lifting her in and out of bed and the wheelchair, bending down to give her food and meds, cooking and cleaning that had to be done, etc. Somehow I was able to do it all. How did I keep going at this pace for nine months?! It was a miracle that stunned everyone – myself, my siblings, all my friends and my clients, too. Not only was I doing it, but everyone kept telling me that I looked great. Some even said “radiant.” I’m sure it was because I was supposed to be doing it. And, precisely because this was mine to do, it felt right and good. There was never a question whether or not I would continue. There was a very powerful, almost tactile sense that Spirit was carrying me along. I was lifted up. My car was gliding down the road. If my back hurt, it got immediately better. If exhaustion began creeping in, I got revived. Everything was being managed. God/Creator/Spirit was taking care of it – and taking care of me. I felt I was more than myself. I knew I was not alone. I was spilling over with love and gratitude. But words just can’t describe the sensation. You have to experience it. If you have ever had that feeling, then you know what I mean when I say you get a sense of being in the state of grace.

Admittedly, Meg’s personal care was not easy on me 
(I am not young anymore!), which made it hard on Meg, too. We had some tense moments, there is no denying it. We had some deep tender moments, too, like holding her on my lap and letting her sob. But the real blessing came in the wee hours of the morning, when we got to experience deep joy tending to Meg’s spiritual needs, which had been neglected for so long.

Meg loved nature, so my training in Native American shamanism served her well. We would sit out on the porch under the stars with the trees around us, and I would take her on traditional shamanic journeys. We went week after week to meet her personal guides and animal totems. We always felt the power and loving embrace of God and Spirit so stunningly – and the insights were profound. Then, sitting in the still-glowing embers of this great love and tender power, we would talk in soft, awed voices about what had just happened, what it might mean, and how blessed we felt. She went for longer periods without pain medication when we did this, and I could stay awake all night without any fatigue. It was extraordinary!

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”

- Helen Keller