Friday, November 30, 2012

THE FOURTH BLESSING IS PERSONAL

The fourth blessing is still unfolding. I suspect it will continue to evolve over the remainder of my lifetime. It is what is happening in my heart of hearts, and in my soul of souls, since Meg’s death. But I have to back up a bit. This is one of those blessings that grows slowly over time, like a mountain or a pearl. I’m probably only beginning to see it, but from my current perspective, I would say it began years ago when I felt Spirit nudging me to move back East from the Pacific Northwest.

I didn’t want to leave Portland, so I had been resisting for six years. Finally, in 2003, the moving van came to load and transport everything to Boston. The way I like to tell the story is that, even though I know I am the one who packed the boxes and hired the truck, it felt like Spirit just picked me up by the scruff of the neck and drop-kicked me across the country. It’s not that I ever stopped resisting - - I was just no match for the force of Spirit. I had been studying Cherokee Medicine with Grandmother River, who told me that the reason I had to leave was to make things right with my family. I didn’t understand this because I didn’t think it was possible to change the family dynamic of ignoring the hard stuff and just going along with the good stuff, as if the good stuff was all there really was. As you might imagine, all the hurt and anger was so close to the surface that everyone felt it, anyway. My previous attempts to bring up and sort out the past had failed. Of course, I hadn’t yet become fully aware of my part in it all. That would come later (see the Third Blessing).

I left a lot behind in Portland.  It was the place that had become home to me, having moved from state to state after returning from Europe. It was where I had my closest friends, a full and lucrative practice, and a busy and gratifying teaching career. Teaching was my greatest joy. Although I was still teaching while in Boston, when I moved to Charlottesville I knew only one person. I had no clients or students, and no professional or social network. I lost my professional visibility, my high profile in the field, and because I was so work-identified, I began to lose my sense of self. I looked for “my community” but things were different here, and I didn’t really understand it. What had worked for me in the past had no visible effects in this new place. I didn’t know what else to try. I felt as though I had lost my compass and my anchor.

Little by little, things got better, but never to the level I was used to. Meditating and praying did not change my circumstances, but it did change me. I began to understand that I had to keep surrendering the self-image I held for so long. Naturally, that did come easily so I continued to cling to it as hard as I could. It’s always a shock to realize that the emotions can lag so far behind the aspirations of the mind and spirit! I understood, but I was not yet able to accept. Time continued moving forward to 2011. Meg was in trouble and the family rallied to her side. Having so much regular contact gave all of us the opportunity to finally tell our stories to each other, understand the other’s perspective, sort it all out and begin to heal the past hurts. The reason why I had felt such a strong urge to be back East, and what Grandmother River had forseen, became clear. I had to be near enough to be available for Meg and for this healing.

I now believe that such a well-defined sense of self had to disintegrate in order for me to be open enough to receive the beauty, love and healing that awaited me. During that year of deep caring and sharing with Meg and my siblings, I felt such a sense of purpose. I had a meaningful place to be and meaningful work to do, I was learning about giving and receiving love in a meaningful way - - and it had nothing to do with my profession.

It has to be said that Meg was an extraordinary human being. Everyone who met her was inspired by her. Coming through these past two years of caring for her and grieving her loss, I am re-inspired by her passion for life. I feel re-connected to my own indwelling passion for teaching and healing. I no longer have them confused with “who I am.” They are simply what I most love to do and am meant to do. Nothing in the world makes me happier. I feel blessed to have had that sacred time with Meg. And I feel blessed to have this new surge of energy released for the endeavors that bring my heart to joy. I truly look forward to sharing with you all I have learned about inducing healing and kindling joyful inner peace.

May we all have peace.

Life holds mystery for us yet.  In a hundred places we can still sense the source: a play of pure powers that - when you feel it - brings you to your knees.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

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